This post is a complicated one. Mainly because as a girl and a human it is very hard not to bitch sometimes. Everyone gets caught up in it occasionally and if you say you never speak about people behind their back. You’re lying. However this post is about the repressive, bitchy culture that causes girls to drag each other down, to belittle each other and essentially bully each other. I try my hardest to be as honest and supportive as I can and I avoid and cut out people that are negative and bitchy towards others. I also want to note that obviously men can be bitchy too and also share these opinions however in this instance I thought of the worst things I have ever heard other girls say to highlight that at times we can be each others worst enemies..
1. She is such a slut. Why in this day and age is slut still even a word? I hear this word banded about so much and it is always misdirected. About a girl that likes to sleep around. About a girl that is wearing a short skirt or shows some cleavage. About a girl that wears lots of makeup. About a girl that is confident about her sexuality. The reasons go on and they are all equally ridiculous. We should be celebrating that we are finally in an age where women are allowed the freedom to be in control of themselves and their sexuality. Instead we call each other sluts the minute someone does something that doesn’t quite fit with your definition of being a woman.
2. Why is she always posting selfies? This one really bugs me because it insinuates that confidence is ugly, it insinuates that a girl that posts selfies is a self-obsessed, narcissistic, bitch. When you see a friend has posted a selfie, your first thought shouldn’t be ‘Why is she so self-obsessed?’ or ‘Why is she such an attention seeker?‘ it should be ‘Good for her, she feels good enough to post a banging selfie’ we should be celebrating each others confidence not shitting all over it. Confidence is sexy and we all need more of it.
3. What is she wearing? OKAY hold up… why is it any of your business what she is wearing? She can rock any damn outfit she wants and I’m sure as hell she doesn’t care about or want your opinion. Also if you think that your friend looks awful, tell her. I actually love it when my friends tell me I look like the back end of a cow because it means they’re being honest and I usually end up looking much better for it.
4. She’s SO weird. This one is usually spoken from people that seem to misunderstand everyone but themselves. Everyone a little bit different, everyone that looks different, everyone with a mental illness, anyone with different beliefs and they simply don’t understand them. It’s usually spoken with such disgust that the words seem to spit out of their mouths like venom.
5. She was asking for it. This one usually goes along with talking about what other girls are wearing. ‘If she’s going to dress like that, she’s asking for it’. It’s victim blaming galore and it’s so shocking that I hear girls saying that about other girls. I honestly don’t understand how anyone can think like this especially those that are part of a gender where 1 in 3 of us will be raped or sexually assaulted in our lifetimes. No one is asking for it. No means no and it doesn’t matter if that person is a stripper or a nun. No one is ever ‘asking for it’.
I don’t claim to be perfect and sometimes we all get sucked into pointless, mean conversations but there is a line. Would you feel comfortable knowing that people that you would call friends would say this about you? No? Then don’t do it yourself. It costs nothing to be a kind, honest person. It costs nothing to be a good friend. As girls we owe it to each other to be a little nicer.
I also want to say that although I have written about it, these comments are usually few and far between. Most people and most women I know are the most amazing, kind and socially conscious people. I just felt the need to highlight these types of conversation because of how unhealthy and horrible they are. If you have people in your life that you hear constantly berating other people then just cut them out. You don’t need that negativity and you definitely don’t need people pushing you into becoming a mean, bitchy person. You’re kind, awesome and beautiful. Be confident, take selfies, dress how you want and let your freak flag fly.
Stay Strong xoxoxo