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Bitch, No.

This post is a complicated one. Mainly because as a girl and a human it is very hard not to bitch sometimes. Everyone gets caught up in it occasionally and if you say you never speak about people behind their back. You’re lying. However this post is about the repressive, bitchy culture that causes girls to drag each other down, to belittle each other and essentially bully each other. I try my hardest to be as honest and supportive as I can and I avoid and cut out people that are negative and bitchy towards others. I also want to note that obviously men can be bitchy too and also share these opinions however in this instance I thought of the worst things I have ever heard other girls say to highlight that at times we can be each others worst enemies..

1. She is such a slut. Why in this day and age is slut still even a word? I hear this word banded about so much and it is always misdirected. About a girl that likes to sleep around. About a girl that is wearing a short skirt or shows some cleavage. About a girl that wears lots of makeup. About a girl that is confident about her sexuality. The reasons go on and they are all equally ridiculous. We should be celebrating that we are finally in an age where women are allowed the freedom to be in control of themselves and their sexuality. Instead we call each other sluts the minute someone does something that doesn’t quite fit with your definition of being a woman. il_570xN.618204163_5oun.jpg

2. Why is she always posting selfies? This one really bugs me because it insinuates that confidence is ugly, it insinuates that a girl that posts selfies is a self-obsessed, narcissistic, bitch. When you see a friend has posted a selfie, your first thought shouldn’t be ‘Why is she so self-obsessed?’ or ‘Why is she such an attention seeker?‘  it should be ‘Good for her, she feels good enough to post a banging selfie’ we should be celebrating each others confidence not shitting all over it. Confidence is sexy and we all need more of it. tumblr_nggl25EwZb1szzszio1_400.gif

3. What is she wearing? OKAY hold up… why is it any of your business what she is wearing? She can rock any damn outfit she wants and I’m sure as hell she doesn’t care about or want your opinion. Also if you think that your friend looks awful, tell her. I actually love it when my friends tell me I look like the back end of a cow because it means they’re being honest and I usually end up looking much better for it.

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Work it…

4. She’s SO weird. This one is usually spoken from people that seem to misunderstand everyone but themselves. Everyone a little bit different, everyone that looks different, everyone with a mental illness, anyone with different beliefs and they simply don’t understand them. It’s usually spoken with such disgust that the words seem to spit out of their mouths like venom.

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Being weird is fun

5. She was asking for it. This one usually goes along with talking about what other girls are wearing. ‘If she’s going to dress like that, she’s asking for it’. It’s victim blaming galore and it’s so shocking that I hear girls saying that about other girls. I honestly don’t understand how anyone can think like this especially those that are part of a gender where 1 in 3 of us will be raped or sexually assaulted in our lifetimes. No one is asking for it. No means no and it doesn’t matter if that person is a stripper or a nun. No one is ever ‘asking for it’. tumblr_ncpxtxRrab1qcy3o3o9_250.gif

I don’t claim to be perfect and sometimes we all get sucked into pointless, mean conversations but there is a line. Would you feel comfortable knowing that people that you would call friends would say this about you? No? Then don’t do it yourself. It costs nothing to be a kind, honest person. It costs nothing to be a good friend. As girls we owe it to each other to be a little nicer.

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Preach!

I also want to say that although I have written about it, these comments are usually few and far between. Most people and most women I know are the most amazing, kind and socially conscious people. I just felt the need to highlight these types of conversation because of how unhealthy and horrible they are. If you have people in your life that you hear constantly berating other people then just cut them out. You don’t need that negativity and you definitely don’t need people pushing you into becoming a mean, bitchy person. You’re kind, awesome and beautiful. Be confident, take selfies, dress how you want and let your freak flag fly.

Stay Strong xoxoxo

22 thoughts on “Bitch, No.

  1. Just popped by to thank you for liking my post. Of course, that gave me a chance to see what you are up to and I genuinely like it. Good luck, and I hope you find what you are looking for soon.

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  2. Very true indeed! I’m sometimes judged by being different than the norms and in those moments I had this bad habit to judge too. Since recently with meditation also, I try to forgive and let go to avoid being dragged in that circle

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ahhhhh, so so true. Why is this still going on? I actually can think of 2 friends of mine who have been close friends for awhile [ although we have been drifting lately] that are guilty of shaming other girls a lot and I usually just get really quiet when they say things but I should put a stop to it, really. I think deep down that is why we have drifted- along with the natural drifting of friendships as we get older. But I have noticed that since then, the friends I have acquired are much more positive and don’t speak about others like that… great post! Thanks for bringing light to this 🙂

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    1. I used to have a few friends like that, in the end they turned on me and I ditched them! No one need people like that in their life 🙂 Some people do just get dragged into it though and I think you can usually tell the difference between people that are just like that and people that just get dragged in! Glad that you have positive people in your life 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This post is absolutely beautiful. I have been the receiving end of so many insults that it forced me to cower away and just be anything besides myself. It hurts especially when not only is your reputation tainted by those words but also the reputation of your loved ones for being related to such a person. I had to force myself to be ‘what they think is normal’ just to save my loved ones from being insulted because they are related to me when they have been nothing but absolutely immaculate people. It hurt so much that words that I find appealing are now like venom crushing into my system and decomposing me alive. Thank you. Just thank you.

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